“Mama, my tongue is smart,” Ida says and stretches her hand up, up, up to her mother’s neck, which Ida pets the way she would a cat.

“What makes it smart, baby bear?” Ida’s mother murmurs just before she closes her eyes for the rest of the night.

“It knows I need a cookie.”

“Go get one for me and one for you, sweetie.”

Ida is only four, but she’s tall for her age, so she doesn’t need the step stool. She grabs the box of Oreos and takes it over to her mother, who is slumped over now, her long red hair covering her face.

Ida eats one cookie, then another. Her mother doesn’t ask for one.

Outside their apartment window music thump-thump-thumps, sirens roar past, dogs bark.

Ms. Otis is making homemade pizza again and the pepperoni smell makes Ida’s stomach growl. Ida wishes her mother would wake up. On days like this, she’s afraid she won’t.

“Mama, my arms are smart,” Ida says, and waits for an answer, but there isn’t one. Her heart speeds up and she hugs her mother anyway. She opens the box of cookies again and stuffs two in her mouth.

Maybe if she crunches like a tiger, her mother’s eyes will open and she’ll say: “Baby bear, hold on a second, you’re being too loud. Stop.” But Ida’s wish doesn’t work. Just like when she wished her mother would show up for her art show at school. Or when she wished her mother wouldn’t sleep all day on Saturday.

“Wishes are stupid,” Ida whispers to herself. Tigers don’t need wishes. She walks over to the door and twists the knob. Ida stares into the night, into the loud, dark world. She growls. She gets down on all fours. She crawls out.

Jennifer Dickinson

is a graduate of Hollins University. Since 2015, she has worked as a book coach and writing teacher for women in Los Angeles. Her fiction has appeared in Blackbird, The Florida Review, Isele Magazine, JMWW, Maudlin House, and elsewhere. Her nonfiction has appeared in The Linden Review and Poets & Writers Magazine. She is the recipient of a Hedgebrook residency and a grant from the Barbara Deming Memorial Fund.

Author’s website: https://jenniferdickinsonwrites.com/