It’s hard to rhyme lover with hoover 
the main Christmas present I bought 
I knew that our old one was heading for dust 
the way it was wheezing and thought 
that a new one would satisfy my lover’s lust 
yes it’s hard to rhyme hoover with lover 

You’re probably thinking my God what a man 
she’d do best to divorce him, the pain 
but before your own prejudice gets out of hand 
you should wait until I have explained 
for I bought only half of a hoover you see 
the other half my other half bought for me.  

Poet’s Note: It was a Dyson, actually.

—A bit of doggerel from the poet’s Love collection, in progress

Keith Evetts

is a retired British diplomat who lives in the UK. His scientific papers are published in Nature and elsewhere; his long-form poetry in The Oxford Magazine and Linnet’s Wings; his cherita in The Cherita; and his haiku and related short forms in Blithe Spirit, Cattails, Cold Moon Journal, Failed Haiku, Heliosparrow, Mambu, Presence, Prune Juice, The Asahi Shimbun, Wales Haiku Journal, World Haiku Review, and at The Haiku Foundation. His work has been anthologized in the Red Moon Anthologies of haiku and haibun, and has been nominated for the Pushcart Prize and Touchstone Awards.

Evetts is listed among the European Top 100 Haiku Authors in 2021, and hosts the weekly haiku commentary feature at The Haiku Foundation. He’s married, with five children, a grey parrot, and a sense of humour.