because i realized i was waiting all day 
to drink 

to silence the 17,000 voices 
all declarations of war 

but then i would swallow too much 
and the buildings would burn 

through my body at 3 AM 
and the firing squad 

would line me up— 
a child weeping an adolescent vomiting 

an adult holding a weeping version 
of myself 

and i would feel the bullets enter 
and leave traces of lead 

in my breath 
and then the next day 

i would begin again at the back 
of the line 

but now 
now i take antidepressants 

state-sponsored hope 
enhancers so i can speak 

without nausea so i can form words 
of protection from myself 

so i can hold my children 
instead of my corpse 

Scott Ferry

helps our Veterans heal as an RN in the Seattle area. His latest book is a collaboration with Lillian Necakov and Lauren Scharhag titled Midnight Glossolalia (Meat For Tea Press). He also has a collaboration with Daniel McGinn, Fill Me With Birds, which is looking for a home. Scott’s book of poetry The Long Blade of Days Ahead is due out in August from Impspired.

Links to his other books, including his first collection, The only thing that makes sense is to grow (Moon Tide Press, 2019), are available at his website:

Ferrypoetry.com